The Book of Studs

Studs 1:1–7 — Of the Brick and the Click

In the beginning was the Brick, and the Brick was good.
And the Brick had studs, and the studs were many,
And they did interlock, even as they were commanded.
And it was seen that clutch power was sufficient.
And the Brick was pressed unto another Brick,
And there was a click, most pleasing.
And order was established upon the baseplate.

Studs 2:1–9 — Of Chaos and Unsorted Bins

And chaos did reign in the bins of the people,
For they did mix plates with tiles,
And slopes with no regard for angle or purpose.
And instruction manuals were cast aside, saying,
“I know what I am doing.”
And pieces were lost beneath couches and shelves.
And Lord Business wept, for the inventory was defiled.
And the people cried, “Where is the 1×2 in dark bluish gray?”
And it was not found.
And despair entered the build.

Studs 3:1–8 — The Calling of Lord Business

And Lord Business did retire unto the wetlands,
Where rejected builds and bent plates lay forgotten.
And there he found the Golden Brick, unmarred and rare.
And it spoke not, yet revealed all things.
And his mind was opened to the True System.
And he was commanded to restore proper alignment.
And he rose up, saying, “Everything shall have its place.”
And thus was his authority established.

Studs 4:1–10 — Of the Law of Order

Thou shalt sort by color and by type.
Thou shalt not force pieces where they were not designed to go.
Teeth and pliers are forbidden tools.
Stickers shalt be applied straight, and only once.
Broken brown shall be mourned, not mocked.
The Brick Separator is sacred and shall not be lost.
Free-building is permitted only in designated hours.
Instruction manuals are to be followed, then admired.
And all builds shall be tested against gravity.
For stability is righteousness.

Studs 5:1–7 — Of the Temple and the Spire

And a temple was raised upon the finest baseplates.
Its walls were square, and its angles true.
And upon the highest spire stood Lord Business,
Holding the Ledger of Inventory.
And he looked upon the city and found it acceptable.
And the people rejoiced, for nothing wobbled.
And the Temple was complete.

Studs 6:1–8 — Of the Missionaries

And missionaries were sent two by two.
They wore clean torsos and neutral expressions.
And they went forth saying,
“Have you heard the good news of clutch power?”
And some mocked them, saying, “I free-build.”
And others listened, and were sorted.
And bins were restored unto order.
And joy was found in labeled drawers.
And productivity increased greatly.

Studs 7:1–6 — Of the Promised Shelf

And it came to pass that the faithful were promised a place.
A shelf, high and secure.
Where dust gathereth not.
Where brittle brown cracketh no more.
Where missing pieces are found quickly.
This is the reward of obedience.

Studs 8:1–5 — Of the Outer Darkness

But unto the rebellious was appointed another place.
A bin, unsorted and overflowing.
Where instruction manuals are missing pages.
Where mega-bricks mingle freely.
This is the Outer Darkness.

Studs 9:1–4 — The Final Click

And when the last brick was placed,
And the final click was heard,
Lord Business declared, “It is complete.”
And the build endured.